Posts Tagged ‘personal’

And so It Continues…

Posted: July 17, 2010 in Uncategorized

Life has always been good to me.. But sometimes I just can’t understand why I still remain unhappy. Despite the fact that I’ve got lots of things to be grateful of, I still find it hard to make myself completely and totally happy. I always say that it’s just a matter of choice. And maybe yes, maybe I’m the one who chose not to be happy despite the goodness life has given me.

Honestly, I just want to learn how to depend on myself. One of my professors said that following your parents is good, but if you’re already 30 and you’re still following everything they say, then something’s not right anymore. I’ve been thinking about it since lat week. I just think that there already IS something wrong with my life. I’ve been following everything she says, if she says no, then I don’t insist anymore. If I want to do something, I have to ask for her permission first, even if at my age, I should be the one deciding on those things already. I believe it’s my never ending quest for freedom. It may sound too much, but that is how I really feel. I want to manage my own money, manage my own time, decide for myself and do things without thinking of what people would say, or what she would say. I want to fail, to succeed, to loose, to win, to fall, and to get up again having no single regret, having no one to blame but myself. I want to be free.